I'm a huge fan of Stephen King.
I've read the entire Dark Tower series, It, The Shining, Doctor Sleep, and my favorite movie is based on his short story, Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption.
So, at the request of several friends who told me that it was their favorite book, I finally started reading 11/22/63.
Here's the principle that makes your head explode:
On November 22, 1963, three shots rang out in Dallas, President Kennedy died and the world changed.
What if you could change it?
Stephen King's breathtaking, dramatic new novel is about a man who travels back in time to prevent the assassination of JFK – a thousand-page tour de force.
Like any good nerd, I have devoted far too much gray matter to hypothetical time travel, the butterfly effect, and changing the past. I bet you too.
Time travel is such an appealing idea because our brains can't help but think about “the road less traveled” and “what if I had done X instead of Y?”
Which brings me to the topic of today's newsletter.
Accepting that certain paths are closed is incredibly liberating.
Some paths are closed
My friend Tim Urban at WaitButWhy.com publish this graphic on the life choices we have made until today and the paths that open to us tomorrow:
It's very easy for our brains to focus on all the dark lines of our past: the paths closed to us, the decisions we didn't make, the decisions we did make, and the way our life often seems “determined” at the moment.
“Because of the way I’ve done this in the past, this is how things happen.”
“It’s a shame I never did XYZ, now it’s too late.” I have so many regrets!
“I don’t deserve to be happy because of this mistake I made”
We often forget that it is only possible to connect the dots of our lives by looking back, in which we made every decision with the best information we had at the time.
(If you're looking for a solid read, Matt Haig's The Midnight Library is a thought-provoking fictional story about alternative life paths and acceptance. Haig takes inspiration from a past decision to almost commit suicide.)
So let's talk a little bit about these black lines and these green possibilities.
Maybe some paths ARE closed!
I bring all this up to emphasize two points.
Author Chris Guillbeau, who greatly inspired my love of travel and influenced how I built Nerd Fitness, recently published an essay on celebrate with closed doors.
We've all heard of people starting certain careers later in life.
An example would be, “It's never too late! Samuel L. Jackson didn't get his breakthrough role in “Pulp Fiction” until he was 46 years old.
And Chris points out that sometimes… it IS too late:
While these stories are inspiring, the lesson “it’s not too late” is not universal. Sometimes it's too late! To believe otherwise is to believe in a fantasy.
Some things in life have real deadlines, not all, but some.
In other words, sometimes we often hold on to something we know we'll end up doing “someday”, and maybe we refuse to accept the reality that… yeah, it IS too late.
Maybe we keep hoping that we'll eventually run a marathon…even if we hate running.
Maybe we keep hoping we'll write that cookbook…even if we don't like cooking anymore.
Perhaps we can decide that certain paths ARE closed to us. We can accept this.
The future is not set in stone either
A few weeks ago I wrote about how The past is not written in stonebecause our perception of history changes.
It's okay to accept that maybe a dream we had when we were in our twenties is okay to die.
However, it is equally tragic to assume that “it is too late” to make changes to our future, and that it is already determined.
Betrand Russell once said, “You don’t have to be who you were five minutes ago. »
As Chris says:
“It’s not too late” for a lot of things, and that’s awesome. But sometimes it does, and that's okay.
It's not too late to learn something new. It's not too late to try new things.
But it may be too late for specific paths, and that's perfectly fine.
In fact, it's worth celebrating.
Giving up on certain paths, or accepting that certain paths may be closed to us, can free up the space needed to make a different decision for the life to come.
You can decide this later in the day to:
- start powerlifting
- take an online course for a new career.
- try a new hobby.
- talk to your doctor help with weight loss.
We can't go back in time to stop the Kennedy assassination.
Certain paths in life are now closed to us.
It could be okay!
Instead of spending more time lamenting our closed black lanes, we can get to work deciding which green lane we're going to take next.
-Steve
PS: Need guidance and accountability to reach your fitness goals? Nerd Fitness has helped over 10,000 humans over the past 8 years with one-on-one online fitness coaching. Click here for more details.
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